There I was at Abell Point Marina about to hop onto the seriously slick 14m catamaran On Ice for a 2 day, 2 night sailing adventure, when I saw her, the most stunning frog ever to hop on this earth.
Amazing caramel coloured skin with dark chocolate patches the colour of her eyes. Impossibly long legs. Taut, toned body. Suddenly I wished I’d worked harder on the gym’s ab machine.
We set sail and as the bar opened, with sucked-in tummy, I hopped towards her with two glasses of wine. She smiled. My back legs went wobbly and another passenger wore the wine.
With a fresh pour and the sun setting, I discovered she was Lolita, a Spanish painted frog born in a vineyard rainwater tank just outside Barcelona, and she was loving the exotic tropical Whitsundays. By the time we anchored in Hook Passage for the night, I was completely hooked.
Alas tonight the luxury of my private double cabin with my own bathroom and shower would be wasted on just me. They say I’m charming but I know my limitations. Even with the most stunning star gazing my talents weren’t good enough to woo her to my cabin tonight.
So next morning I awoke to the smell of coffee and my testosterone sizzling.
After breakfast we sailed to Whitehaven Beach and my big chance to get her alone. With two stand up paddleboards I offered her my guided tour of the most beautiful beach in the world. My charm, the white sand and turquoise water worked. After, while the scene from Hill Inlet Lookout took Lolita’s breath away, I was ready to sweep her off her pretty little webbed feet.
As we set sail to snorkel Dumbell Island’s fringing reef, she emerged in a custom made wetsuit to protect her skin from the salt water and I’d brought mine too. Hers defined her body, accentuated her curves. I took 20 minutes to wedge myself into mine. Damn my gym slackness.
We spent a few blissful hours snorkelling, holding hands. She spotted rainbow coloured parrotfish, turtles and giant maori wrasse as I planned how to turn On Ice into the love boat at Hook Passage tonight.
After dinner, I suggested she could freshen up in the luxury of my private ensuite and she hopped at the chance. (Yes! There is a frog god!)
I put the wine on ice and quickly scattered tropical fronds and leaves I’d collected on my secret beach hunt, over the bed. Sure humans love crisp white linen but us frogs can’t resist a fresh bed of green.
She emerged, her skin glowing a shade darker caramel from the day’s sun. She took one look at the bed and her eyes softened as the exotic tropical green beckoned. Clearly she’d never slept ‘tropical’ before.
Sorry, since this is a G rated blog, I can’t enlighten you on the famous mating habits of the Whitsunday green tree frog here.
Next morning we sailed to Blue Pearl Bay on Hayman Island, then to Langford Reef, where quite exhausted, we snorkelled from the Aquaglide inflatable. Lying down, you put your face in the water. Lolita loved it. I lay with my face to the sun dreaming of our honeymoon at Hayman, of what our babies would look like (what colour do you get when you mix caramel and chocolate brown with bright green?)
I dreamed of us hosting tapas nights at BIG4 Adventure Whitsunday Resort. Of our kids growing up in our own paradise. Maybe we’d open a tapas bar in Airlie Beach. The skipper interrupted my dream saying it was time to head home.
Lolita and I enjoyed the fun wave riding back to Abell Point Marina. Snuggled together in the ropes, I vowed to say adios to my bachelor days. Gracias On Ice.
Love struck in paradise